In the dock: Cumbria Police

Charge: Bringing the police service into disrepute and wasting public money

Evidence: A printed laminated notice on a gate one a country path in Grasmere, the Lake District. It says:

Police Warning

There are police community support officers in this area observing dog owners who are failing to clear up after their dogs. They are adopting a zero tollerance attitude to all offenders.

£75.00 Penalty tickets WILL be issued to offenders.

Verdict:

GUILTY!!!!!!!!

Sentence: Go out and CATCH SOME CRIMINALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!